the power of music

I have started to increase my music genre of late and have incorporated some interesting music into my CD collection.

My most recent purchase was the "elbow" album which has some pretty good sounds on it.

This got me thinking....the power of music.

As many people's moods change with the weather or with situations they listen to different kinds of music. Some songs evoke memories, for me "summertime" by Will Smith is a good couple of years old now but always reminds me of when I was at school, forced to wear a black skirt and blazer with a tie and white shirt...I have a memory, much like a photograph of it being boiling hot, I'm at school chatting away with my dearest friend and setting the world to rights - sitting on the grass and thinking all I wanted to do was go home and have a shower and put on something less hot!!!

I am a massive Beatles fan and when I think of the collection of albums I have, I am again transported back to school, its my 16th birthday and another friend of mine has taped (remember the tape??) all of her dad's collection of Beatles albums for me...this was the best present ever!!

So for me and music we have our history...when I am in foul mood I put on something like Mika or Duffy that I can have a good old sing along to or if I am in a lovy dovy mood I'll put on something like Nina Simone - good lord I love that woman.
If I am studying I tend to put on classic - I know nothing of classical music by I have a National Trust CD with some nice flowing tunes of it. Oaisis kicks ass when house cleaning!!

I grew up on the Rolling Stones, Deep Purple, Ozzy Osborne, The Who - to name but a few. My dad had a whole heap of original records, some limited editions, and my brother and I would always argue about who dad was going to leave them to in his will. Anyway, a couple of years ago we were round my parents house and the fairly light hearted row started again...my dad looked at both of us and said in a laughy sort of way "you two can keep going if you want but all of the records went in a skip about 2 years ago"....you do not know how much my brother and I were mortified for or how long we just sat there looking at dad waiting for the comprehension to come....gone, in a skip, just like that, none left, to be replaced with frinkin CD's - what in the name of god was he thinking.
If you were to stack all of the records up they would have towered to about 3 foot high - all in mint condition (we were never allowed to go near them as kids), not a scratch on them or a dog ear on the sleeve - GONE....imagine how much they would have been worth?? the memory or my dad sitting of the floor very carfully taking out a vinyl from its sleve and as though it were made of the most precious metal sit it onto the record player and with the steadiest hands put the pin onto the record - and he threw them into a skip....mental

So for me music is a welcome relationship but one that I explore with trepidation - ever bought an alum on the back of hearing one song, got the thing home and after listening to it thought this is a pile of poo??? hmmm done it many times!!!

With the weather being as sunny as it is today, I have to play (and please have it in mind that I never remember song titles) "got my hands, got my arms etc I got my freedoooooommmmmm - I got liifffeeeee" my the wonderful Nina Simone.

A song that would best describe me is by the Beatles and its "Don't pass me by" on the white album sung by Ringo - told you I was a fan!!

So my thought for this entry is - whats you song for the day and is there a song that sums you up??
(right now I am listening to T-Rex, best of)

what super hero??

I am really into a programme called "hero's" - anyone else watching this?

Within the show are people who have powers, some use them for good, others not so good. Above it all is one person trying to control them all with the "agency".
It strikes me, no matter what your job is there is always some power hungry little person trying to make others jump to their beat.

Anyway, it got me thinking....what power would I have if I had the choice??
On the one hand I would like to control machinery so whenever I went to the cash machine it would just give me money no matter what my account said!! But then again, I would like to be able to time travel and put right all the mistakes that I have made, and I have made some whoooppppeeeerrrsss!! and re-live the good memories. But then I would also like to be able to go invisible so I can watch what my child actually gets up to at school...or be able to fly like a bird soaring across the skies.
I would like to be able to have the power to stamp out the bad emotions that I have affiliated with some memories or have the power so that my child and my family never hurts or cries in pain.

But I really think that my special power would have to be something like being able to turn into what ever object or person that I wanted, but also have the knowledge and memories of the person I have just morphed into!! - now that would be cool. Like some politicians..did they or didn't they? Or some really bloody intelligent person and get some of their brain cells into mine!!

Even if it was just for a day, I would need notice that this would happen so I could make a list of all the objects / people that I would morph into!!!

So my thought for this blog is - what super power would you have and please tell me why!!!!

so hmmm how are you

it seems that all is not well in my head.

About 5 months ago I had to take time off from work to "rest". This was due to the fact that I kept passing out. It was diagnosed at the time as being labrynthitis which is basically an inner ear problem which stopps your brain knowing which was is up. But it went and I had (almost) forgotten about it.
That was until Thursday when I passed out again. I have to say that it did scare me. So I went to go and see my GP on Thursday who sent me straight up to the hospital to get it checked out once and for all, lucky me.
I was a complete drain on the resources of the NHS and had every test done. I am trying to view this as a good thing, if there was anything else wrong with me they would have found it. I had a CT scan of my head,a chest x-ray, a full nerve check, an ECG for 5 minutes and various blood tests - all coming back nice and healthy.
So the final doctor came along and said that I have to go and get an EEG of my brain done....good luck on that one! At the moment they are unsure as to whether it is an inner ear problem or maybe - and this is where it gets a bit scary - epilepsy.
On the upside of things, I am having a really productive week, the results of my very exciting week shall be made available to you all in August.

I am on the verge of a very exciting time in my life, and I simply refuse to take my fainting attacks seriously at the moment. I know some of you will tell me to listen to my body and to take heed, but right now I am having whey to much fun. And if I stop and think about what is happening I may get very upset...and who wants that eh?
A friend asked me the other day about my funny turns and not only did I think that this was a really nice of putting it but I suddenly realised that I am now of the age where I can have funny turns...I think I am getting old.

When I was in hospital, I said to my husband "we vowed to be together is sickness and in health, we also said to each other that we would grow old together, well my darling, we are...we are getting older". It was almost like a revelation and I became all nice and warm inside. The new wrinkle, a few new grey hairs, gravity has taken over and we still love each other.

So my thought for this entry is not how are you, but more along the lines of - what are you now of an age to get away with...a bit like the poem when I am old I shall wear purple???

But I do hope that you are all fighting fit.

loving on a Thursday

Today I am expressing my gratitude to the wonderful Mother Nature. She is a fantastic force of which I am always in complete awe.

Within the last 2 weeks, we have had freezing blizzards of snow, rain, beautiful sunshine and cloudy yet warm days.

yet, with all this interchangeable weather, the flowers still grow, the squirrels have awoken and are already busy collecting, the birds are returning and I am full of glee.

I love my life. When I was a kid and imagined how my life was going to be, this is it. I have a really brilliant husband who I love adore and a son who I feel blessed to have, for me, work is coming together.

Sometimes, when one isn't feeling so gleeful, it is hard to see the good in our lives. The unfinished book that we really want to find the time to finish and get published, the car that we long to have but is out of the budget range, the sleepless nights having a new born baby, or having a really stressful job - all these things can really narrow our impressions of life. But I dare you to go for a walk TODAY, and just take the time to look around and see what you haven't notice before, even if it's a 30 minute stroll to your local park. I was walking the other day along a route that I would normally drive and saw this really beautifully built building, it's really ornate and very well maintained. Its got really gorgeous flowers in the front garden and all the paint looks fresh, its on the roadside but not having a car allows me to just potter about.

I took the above picture on Saturday - the day with real sunshine in the sky. I walked past this plant and at that precise moment thought to myself, I want to smell the sunshine and to my friends amusement I stood stock still and just sniffed, rolled my shoulders back, looked up to face the sun and smelt this wonderful floral smell, looking down I saw this flower in all its spring time glory...I simply had to take it's photo!!

I love the fact that no matter what our human emotions are doing, mother nature rolls on doing her work, bringing out the flowers, making the ever changing weather and wiping the slate clean for us to appreciate.

So my thought for this blog is a) what are you loving today and b) when was the last time you took time smell the flowers?

so much kind support

Thank you so much, I have had soooo much lovely words over my poor little car, But, it would be nice if those comments were maybe left here for others (and me)to read.

I know that sounds slightly weird, but I would like to take my blog forward, with it becoming more thought provoking, and if you think that your words could maybe trigger some long forgotten memory for someone, or would add to my words then please feel free.
Before I starting writing this (and sometimes still do) I wondered if anyone would want to read my thoughts about me and my very ordinary life, I took the time to think, am I really that self centered that I would put my life out there for people to read? Now, I don't think I am being self centered, this is sort of a good thing for me to do. I love writing and I really enjoy allowing people to associate themselves with something I have written - as much crappy as that sounds!!! maybe write something about the entry, or to do with the ever changing thought for this entry - I really do take the time to read each and every comment that is left - I enjoy hearing what others are up to!!

I think as humans, what truly sets us apart is our deep rooted emotions, to love who we love, to laugh at the things we find funny, to cry in the bad times and get so angry to the point of wanting to change whatever happened, to truly look at our children when they are unaware and to feel that warm glow with the knowledge that they are yours.

my son asked me once "mummy, do you like me?" I looked at him and in the most sweetest motherly voice I could muster I replied "oh, honey I love you sooo much", he then looked straight at me and said "yes mummy and I love you too, but do you like me", I inwardly smiled and told him that yes, I liked him and that he was my best friend. I think he had just turned 4, so no age at all, but was surprised that a person of that age new the difference between like and love. Sometimes we don't really get the chance to tell the difference, raw and unsuppressed love sometimes blinkers us in other areas.

May I take this opportunity to thank you all for reading my blog through the good times and the bad times and I now ask for your help in taking it forward. Some people may feel slightly awkward about leaving words...please don't, most of my words are garbled nonsense!! others may feel as though they want to share something that is related to the entry - I say go for it, don't hold back!!!

Again, my deepest gratitude to you all and may you love like you ain't never loved before, each and everyday.

So my thought for this blog is - what have you always wanted to do but kept putting it off and maybe still haven't done it???

and so, I had to bid farewell

Saturday was a very sad day for me. The car went to it's retirement home....yeah right.

When I woke on Saturday morning, I had this feeling of foreboding and whilst I lay there, I couldn't remember why. Then it hit me, like a big bang hit me.

My little whistling car was going to the breakers. With a little tear in my eye, I was ready to face the day.
It was a beautiful, sunny, spring morning that one couldn't feel sad. So I went outside and took some photo's of the doomed car and said my farewell.
And off my husband took it. I simply couldn't go, it was too sad for me, but i waited at home with a cup of tea and my son to keep me company.

It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go to our favourite lunch place with some friends and then take our son and their son to the park. Where I saw carpets of flowers, the first squirell of the year and lots of smiling happy people.

But, alas, it was a bit of a down day for me.

When the first day of spring comes its rather hard not to feel light and happy, as though the blinkers have been taken off.
It does make me laugh, that first day though. People clearly have no idea what to wear (and yes, I do appreciate that's a very girly thing to say). Some people were wearing their full coats with scarfs and big foot wear, others were in t-shirts and some even had sandals on - slight wishful thinking!!

The onto Sunday, Sunday was a bit of an odd day, a bit like the calm after a storm. The weather wasn't as great, and everyone seem to be a bit "ooohhhh wheres it gone". My husband, bless him, realising that the day before had upset me, let me have a bit of a lie in.

Now, you would think that maybe I got breakfast in bed or something sweet like that..nooooo. I woke up to the sound of "loving in an elevator, living it up when your goin dowwwwwwwnnnnnnn" and lots of what I interpreted as thumping noises.
On further investigation I find my 30 something husband and my 5 year old MOSHING. I have to ask, how old is the legal consent to mosh with ones father, I thought it must be those god awful teenage years, right?
And after that, when things had calmed down in my house, I asked my son to tidy his room - he then declared "my life's over" - HE'S 5, not, as you may be forgiven on thinking, 13.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell...the ups, the downs and the down right weird.

So my thought for this entry is - how was your weekend my dear friends?

wow - what a week and some sad news.

Don't grow attached to things because the bubble of love will burst. Read on for it to make sense.......!!!!!




All I can say is...I am sorry for not writing sooner. I have an excuse, this week has been manic!!!

So, we went to the wedding on Sunday which was magical. It was everything that one could want from a wedding. An excellent exchange of vows, excellent food, funny and endearing speeches, a good old jig on the dance floor and new people to meet all set in the most beautiful surroundings - my idea of a great time.

Then back to reality on Monday, we picked up our son and basically hung out on Monday. Tuesday my son and I went on a dinosaur walk at ryton pools, brilliant time. Wednesday saw us back at ryton pools to go den building, I am not sure who enjoyed this the most most - kids or adults!!!...again a great time. That night my son had 2 friends for a sleep over - they went to bed at about 8.30pm and woke at 5 am!!! tired but very very mental boys!!! we then went off to see the chuckle brothers in the afternoon on Thursday and then today, I was at work so my boys had a man day.

This week has been filled with laughter and naughtiness!!! we have had so much fun. My son and I used to just hang out all the time before he started school and we very rarely get the time to do it now that the weekends are so precious. So this week we got to be mates again and yes, we got into heaps of trouble!!! the house looks like a toy bomb has gone off and we are all very very tired.

But, my dearest friends, I have some sad news, you may all want to just go make a cuppa with biscuits and then continue reading, for this will make you want to cry.

10 days after my 30th birthday I passed my driving test. It was the second test I had done and I failed the first one in total laughable style. My very generous friends gave me a car, of which I decorated with flower decals. I love that car. The freedom it gives me is liberating and, although I don't necessarily need to drive, I do when my son and I need to do..for example, swimming or taking a picnic to the park in the summer or taking his bike to the park in the winter. but...and I say this with a genuine tear in my eye..the car failed its MOT..not to worry I hear you cry... but its old, knackered and it whistles to me when at a certain speed...I love being able to say "just going to get that out of my car" or "shall I drive today", but the end is nigh.
For the last 2 MOT's it has passed (which was absurd the age of the car and the amount of miles it has done) and every time my husband has said "if it fails honey, its car history". But the little banger sailed through. Not this time.

I asked my husband what would become of my little clapped out car and he said that he will have to contact the breakers yard....whats that I naively asked.
Now a normal person, seeing that I was very upset, might have spared me the finner details of putting a car out to pasture..I imagined my car in a lush green field somewhere with others just like it, but no apparently not.
The breakers yard man comes along, and takes the car. But not to a green pasture full of the rays of sunshine with frolicking lambs in the distance, but to a bleak cold dark and damp place where...oh gosh I don't know if I can even write this - take the car apart and sell the bits for parts and then - aaahhhhhhh - crush the rest. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO THIS???? its horrible.
I know, I know, its a lump of metal on wheels, buts its my first ever car, that I decorated with love and now some big fat hairy lump of a man will come and rape my car...is there a telephone number to the car police where I can report this atrocity??

I have to now move on to the thought part of my blog or I will just rant on forever.
Have you ever grown attached to an inanimate object that needed to be thrown out but you just simply couldn't????

sniff sniff